Lost in Thought..... Lost the plot

Let this blog be the reason for the diversion of your attention from the company you are presently in.

I’m sure that line at Starbucks is long and you want to look important so divert your attention to your iphone just in case anyone tries to make idle chit chat about the weather. I bet that lunch meeting is boring you shitless so here I am to make it look like you’re checking important emails. I’m confident you might be texting with your dinner companion since eye contact and human connection is so arduous and I bet in between texts with you and seven others, they’re also checking in on Facebook while Twittering since your date embodies the term inattention, as do you, as do I - so here I am, just for you, you and you.

Smile. I’m for your eyes only.

Oh la la!

No, I’m not that kinda web site. Simmer down sassy!

My blog and blather is just as mind-numbing as your FB News Feed so instead of being a repeat offender to the same web site as 500 million others, go on and be exclusive and waste your time here with me and my wonky words. I’ve very little to educate you with but be sure I’ll babble on long enough to make you believe it was worthy of at least 42 seconds of your time.

Fun Fact! The sentence “the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog” uses every letter in the English language.

Now, if you are as quirky as I, you’ll read the alphabet quietly to yourself as you visually confirm every letter in the sentence - surely others will perceive you as mentally engaged and this will account for another 34 seconds of dull fluff.

Why the hell are you here anyway? What, nothing good on eHarmony tonight?

Well, then to make being here worth your while just so you know, turtles can breathe through their bums.

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