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Oct172010

Lost the plot

My GTL stands for Gym, Traffic & Lonely.

I’ve been grounded now for more than a fortnight. Try 40 days.¬†Forty days ago was the last day on tour, out in the world actually using my passport and boarding a transatlantic flight, going left into business class by way of complimentary upgrade from cattle to business. Thank you American Airlines!

Make no mistake, I ‘m very happy to be living back in LA, trying my hand at how the other half live – you know, like not on a tour bus. However, I’m grounded. Still not fully wrapping my brain around the concept. I’m not talking about terra firma grounded earthy granola hippy peace love and beads grounded – I mean grounded in the literal sense that it’s the first time in 12 years I’ve NOT have a plane ticket booked for imminent travel and to this I say, WTF?!?!

I’m ever so slightly gutted due to newly found going no where nature because I feel like I’m merely hovering in stifled mindlessness. And I miss all that perpetual, indefinite motion. I’m use to living on the autobahn of life and now my arse in the slow lane. I’m suppose to appreciate things a bit more, but right now it’s like I’m in an incessant school zone with speed bumps every 4 feet and I can’t see anything but another bump in MY road.

Ok STOP! Hold the press! This as NOT a pity party blog for the pretty princess. No, no and no! It’s hardly the point of my venting. It’s merely stepping back to gain perspective. Here I am, where I said I wanted to be, exactly where I hoped I be and now I’m here and all I can think is “now what?” This can’t be it. Really? Seriously? There’s more to it, isn’t there? Maybe there’s more to it but then again, maybe not.

Something went somewhere. I don’t know what and I don’t know where.

Shari went to LA. Still not 100% as to why but for some reason being here is going to lead to the next path. This is where I will start life anew. I will not fail to launch but I hope it’s soon because I’m bored outta my gourd.

Is the grass lime greener? I think not.

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