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Sep192010

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The cerulean creature awakens from her mental slumber to see a new point of view. Outlook is mostly positive, a tad fearful of the negative and trying to remain neutral at all times. There are moments when she wants to shriek her contained excitement out loud, but wonders if it’s best to reserve her enthusiasm and conserve the energy.

Making changes whether minuscule or monolithic takes great mental strength and courage. Treading gently into a new realm, absolute unchartered territory, it’s humbling to be outside your comfort zone. The question is, to share or not to share with those nearest to you. If you reveal, you invite others in to your new world and when or IF it all goes pear-shaped, well then, you have some explaining to do. However, you if mind yourself and what you sparsely share, loss is no loss to anyone but you – damage control is under control.

This mental tug of war has been at the forefront of my mind for months now, tip-toeing around discussing or concealing, hiding or revealing. Strangely, I can actually pin point when, three years ago, that I started to become a scaredy cat with sharing and sadly it has to do with a boy – he is certainly not a man, I will give him no such credit.

Is this the book I profess to write? Or is this the life I lead? Stay tuned……

Perhaps the boy’s lesson was to share as little as possible, therefore not investing in others. I cannot say whether this method has served me – or my character – well. We’re still trying to practice this methodology but find it goes against the very nature of being human, but at times does makes one feel empowered, albeit lonely.

Being an open book certainly has its fair share of pros and cons. It’s hard to be a closed book while writing a story to share. So contradicting! Either way, whether you’re a real being or a character written on the page, you must hold your own hand, reassure yourself and try not to live in scaredy catville too terribly long.

Writing another chapter in my book and in my life, blank pages are abundant and its time to get busy.

Wish me luck!

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