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Feb212010

Lost in Thought.....

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It’s never too late to say you’re sorry.

It’s never too late to forgive someone.

It is preferable to do it in person, face to face.

I discovered today that a friend of mine took his life.

I’m so very sorry for not taking the chance to tell you that I accept your apology.

Misunderstandings happen. However, it’s my mistake in believing I had all the time in the world to share that with you. Please forgive me.

You will be missed Aaron.

Rest in Peace.

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Feb142010

Lost in Thought.....

Today I treated myself to a day off from the gym. I bought myself some tulips, I baked chocolate brownies, took myself to the spa for an hour long massage and then came home to make myself a lovely meal, martinis included. During dinner I watched the movie, “He’s just not that into you.” Perfect!

Except the letter “I” is sadly not the word “WE.”

Lately, I’ve been sucked into trivial pursuits, best known as internet dating. Initially, I signed up on a few dating sites for research. No really!!!! I’m writing a book about a woman who travels the globe for work, hasn’t been on a date in 3 years and can’t get a date to save her life. Sounds familiar. Ugh!!! However, a few friends of mine who are in relationships, even one is engaged, all met their beloveds on the internet. So now, I’m curious and chasing these rumors to see if they can come true for yours truly. Really, what do I have to lose except hours in front of the glow of my computer?

Well, suffice to say that these dating sites are a treasure trove of material. Not real life, “I’m going to meet this person for drinks,” potential candidate for dating but a hoarded wealth of comedic material that belongs in MY book. The cheesy screen names, the predictable profiles claiming to love long walks on the beach, the inevitable misspellings coupled with bad grammar. And the piece de resistance……..the photos. Men posing in front of cars, or bare chest on a boat holding a fish, or at ANY sporting event in full team paraphernalia. I simply cannot take it seriously. It’s forced, inorganic and deplorably funny. Hell, even when I look at my online profile – I laugh. Internet dating just doesn’t sit right with me.

Perhaps my perspective of cyber dating is entirely wrong. I’m looking at this from a research point of view. But also, I don’t honestly believe I would find THE ONE on line. Maybe that’s short sighted and narrow minded of me but what can I say? I’d rather bump into someone in an airport or in a grocery store and feel that instant connection versus online winking, online virtual roses, virtual hugs & kisses and falling in love via Skype.

Call me crazy, I guess I’m just old fashioned.

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Feb42010

At home decompressing

Another day, another dollar earned from the State of Florida.

Thank you very much Sunshine State!

In the simplest terms, I made more in touring per diem than I do being unemployed, while diligently looking for work. Don’t misunderstand, I’m very grateful for the $ 35 per day unemployed-diem. Life goes on & on and when you hurl towards the future, blithely unaware of how quickly it can all stop and rendered you ill prepared for such derailment. My wispy ways of planning will not continue into my future. I choose foresight not hindsight. Why didn’t I sooner? Because I’m an adorable doofus.

I created and fell into my own trap. I am hired to take care of others and that is what I do and while doing so, I neglect to take care of myself. I still hope for that modern day delusional fairy tale where someone or something will take care of me. Whether its thru selling a screenplay, a book deal or simply because another person cares for me and wants me to be there. But it’s up to me and only me, to take care of ME. Fuck -

Now is the time for repackaging, recreating, redesigning and marketing oneself.

Here are the rules for when you are without gig.

1. Never use the term unemployed. Hiatus sounds better.

2. Go to the gym. Because it’s good for you, people there will wonder what kind of amazing job you have that allows you the flexibility to work out every day in them middle of the afternoon and when you get back to work you will not only kick ass but look kick ass!

3. Spend time with your family and friends. Because they’ve always taken the back burner when you work and now there is no reason they should.

4. Rediscover your hobbies. Don’t be a boring thud who turns pro at bitching about being out of work. Go learning curling, take up basket weaving and learn to make addictive guacamole. Just do something other than work for once and enjoy it!!!

5. Don’t behave, act or look unemployed. Almost everyone equates their self-worth to their job. When you’re mover and shaker and making money – you’re on top of the world. When it stops and nothing’s there to take its place, it’s time for YOU to take the place. Make the most of the time, even if it makes you a little gloomy and monkey shit stir crazy.

I’ve learned my lesson, universe please help me out of status hiatus. I want to put my new found knowledge to good use because the longer I’m home the better I get at it and eventually the State of Florida will cut me off.

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