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Nov232009

At home decompressing

The End of Tour Resolution

1. Be home, chill and relax.

Challenge: Why the hell do I always feel guilty for relaxing? I bet you do too. Like we’re meant to be doing something but what? The tour is done and now it’s my time, which means I can do what I want but I’ve already forgotten what it is I want to be doing. Shit, I would think flying over 30,000 miles in 65 days would equal earned chill time and it does but I need to practice the art of doing nothing without the guilt. Help please!

2. Freak out less. Freak out less. Freak out less. It’s the nature of the beast to have another gig lined up before the one we’re on ends. It doesn’t always happen so seamlessly, but we aim for it and if it hasn’t come together, haven’t we at least earned the right to some downtime? You just need to believe another gig comes at the time when you’re ready for it.

Difficulty: To stop freaking out right now!!!!

3. For the next tour to save more money. Spend less on the next tour by dining out less, closing my iTunes account and avoiding those duty free shops.

Contradiction: And now the real question is, will I?

I’m use to working at the speed of now and now I am home and have no work.

Time for me now but all I want to do is sleep. And I keep reminiscing over the great parts of the tour but I can’t shake that shit music out of my head. I need brainwashing STAT!

Sometimes we lose sight, get off track and get caught up in the non-essentials.

It’s hard to motivate when you’re mentally spent on having handled other people’s shit for so long, that you no longer have the energy to handle your own. Touring is like suspension of disbelief. We all suspend our judgments in exchange for the promise of entertainment while getting paid. Touring is the ultimate Quid Pro Quo and it should, but it never offers equality. Something for something actually translates into something for them, more of something for them and less and less for me. You give and people take. When you deliver repeatedly at a marvelous rate, you condition people to demand and expect more. We become our own glutton for punishment simply because the more miracles one can pull off, we drive the stakes higher, when we’re over-extended and already spent to the max.

Favour for favour, what for what, give and take, tit for tat, this for that, you scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours. – Sounds lovely doesn’t it?

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Nov102009

Lost the plot

It’s difficult at this very moment to know whether to laugh, cry or do both as I am confronted with extreme situations where one must choose a course of action or choose to remain passive or embody both. Fear brought on by uncomfortable situations and trying to manage them, daily. The pressure is real and reactions will fly but irrational, erratic arrogance will meet swift judgment followed by a hearty good laugh had by all except maybe one.

I try to stick to the facts but sometimes feelings are inconvenient and you have to push them down, swallow hard, say fuck it and move on.

I come out on top today, which is the end of “that” tour. Focused on the events of today and trying not to dwell on the past and looking future forward. I hope next year I am blessed to work with this crew and despite the challenges we’ve all shared, we remained strong as a team and laughed when we wanted to scream. Passera.

9 months, over 30 countries (I’ve lost count) and 114 shows…..we navigated and endured the global grind and came out on top.

Thank you! Merci! Gracias! Danke! Arrigato! Obrigado! And good night.

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