Lost in Thought.....

The words “want” and “need” evoke different feelings with respect to situation and circumstance.In personal matters, we all want to make more money. Some of us need to make more money in order to keep Visa happy and fund our Starbucks habit. All of us want to win the lottery. Some of us want a new gig, as we no longer need to put up with the bullshit from our current employer. Some of us are unemployed and need to find a gig, regardless of whether we want to or not.

But in relationships, those two words take on a whole other life form. I have found myself in a relationship where saying the word “need” implied commitment and obligation. Despite being married to that person, need evoked negativity. Post divorce, I found myself in a relationship where expressing want was very desirable but the end result was that he felt I didn’t need him so the relationship ended.

As a single woman, I am lost and oh so confused. I want and need many things. But now I must express myself in clever, inventive ways. Go to dictionary.com you’ll discover that want means need and need means want. So, pending on delivery and context of your words – both need and want can imply & evoke both negative and positive emotions. Of course it’s dependent upon the receiver of your words. Too many variables and you’re sure to fail if you open your mouth. What do you want? What do you need? Such obvious questions to ask someone we care about, yet seldom do we ask. Maybe we’re afraid to commit the time to care because it’s easier to ask, “How are you?” because standard expected response is “fine.” Simple, non-committal, aloof and lassitude. Well for me, I don’t want or need that.

I don’t want to appear needy but I don’t just want to be wanted. Contorted corkscrew of confusion; to be expected in the affairs of love.

I want to be needed and need to feel wanted. Just not too much……..

1. Dave says,

   I want you to stay the same wonderful human being you are. You need never worry about trying to please others with the prospect of doing so at your own expense. You are a beautiful individual who will meet the perfect yang for your ying, and you are some ying I have to say.
   Take care my friend and hope to speak to you soon…xxx

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