Lost in Thought.....

I dare you to tell me the truth. I challenge you to be bold and ask me something, anything. I compel you… summons me to tell you some truth.

Are you curious of my dilemma? Avowal; it’s simply to meet a man. A man who has a curiosity about me, about life…hell, about anything! Someone who wants to get to know me and not just because of my unique job, my crazy celebrity boss or what connection I might have for a show they want to go to for free.

One of the biggest hazards to this career is actually the career itself. It trumps everything about you. It takes center stage; it steals your thunder while actually bestowing upon you power. As one door opens in your career, another door closes in your personal life. And for me, the door to my personal life has been sealed shut for quite some time.

Contrary to some beliefs, dating someone in the touring world is harder & far more complicated than meeting a man in the real world. If you work together, one must be suspect of the interest shown. In my experience, it’s usually to gain insider information about the upcoming tour schedule, get on your good side to get better airline seats, quicker check-in at hotels and preferential treatment. And usually, you are the mere layover (literally) until he goes home to the girlfriend he neglected to tell you he still lives with. Since you take care of everything on the tour, if he shares your hotel bed, he’s confident his stuff will get done quicker, his requests fulfilled, free Starbucks daily and he’ll happily take advantage of you and all you do. Then, when the tour is over and so are you. Once home and away from him, your subconscious takes over and for the next several weeks you find yourself shouting “wanker” at random. It’s like performing an exorcism.

There you have it, grist for the gossip mill…….

I defy someone to prove me wrong.

Silence speaks volumes; no action is still an action; no decision is still a decision.

I’m up for a challenge, are you? Go on, I dare you.

1. Linda says,

   Hey
2. Robert Smith says,

   I challenge you because i can.

   i am one of the few people who has had the privlige to be with someone who has a gig like yours so i have a diffrent perspective yet good insite. The time spent with that person was the best time i have ever had in a realationship not because we lived the touring life together or any of the reasons you stated above,but because of how good it felt when she came back to our home by the sea and i could finally get to hold her in my arm again. I was NEVER EVER with her for a hook-up of any kind except to be with her..the 1st and last show i ever saw her at was only so i could see her and the last show we were at we had not been together for quite sometime, i just wanted to see her smile again.

   Yes she has hooked me up in the past with tickets,swag.. I even got to ride in one of them tourbus thinges that everyone wants to ride in..but the coffens in those things suck to cuddle in,they can be fucking noisey and i hate the smell of deasil fuel in the morning..no matter how nice the bus is or how cool the hotel room when you love someone who is on the road, all you want is for them to be at home.

   this girl i speak of and i are not together any more yet we are still friends, she is a great person and i am very proud of her, i like to keep intouch with her not for tickets but because i have known and loved her far befor she chose this gig..6th grade she had really big hair & yes i thought she was sexy..still do..and i just want to know she is ok because i still care. REMBER, SOME PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE LOVE YOU FOR YOU.p.s the guy with a girlfriend is an ashole, im sure you could have his legs&balls broken if you want.and who Knows what the future will bring..life is funny that way.
3. Lori says,

   Hello Shari,

   Very interesting writing. Notoriety is not without its downsides and seems the personal life always takes the hit. It is the rare individual that can balance both and make it work. I hope that you find that special person this year who understands.

   Hope all is well with you

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