On the Road

Might it be, that people just don’t pay attention or do I spend too much of my own diligence to the details? How often are you asked a stupid question? Ok, let me re-phrase since there are no stupid questions just oodles of inquisitive idiots. Hourly, the production manager, tour manager and myself are asked questions by our inquisitive crew and our sweet little rock stars. And one must diplomatically respond to such perplexing questions, such as;

Question: What time do we check out of the hotel?
Answer: Same time as yesterday and the day before. In fact, its been the same check out time for the last 4 weeks. Read your day sheet!!!

Question: Do I need to bring my passport with me to Europe?
Answer: Yes you do.
Answer in my head: Yes, you need your bloody passport you halfwit!

Question: Which frequent flier card can I use?
Answer: We’re on a private jet, you cannot collect frequent flier miles.

Question: Starbucks doesn’t have ice tea, what should I do?
Answer: Do they have tea bags? Yes. Do they have hot water? Yes. Do they have ice cubes? Yes. Okay then, they have ice tea.

Question: Where’s the dressing room?
Answer: Your standing in it.

Now, keep in mind we are asked such daft questions on a repeated basis, it becomes the norm. It still infuriates you but you’re use to it and come to expect them. A day without the inquest for the obvious can cause one to worry. At times, it’s truly like Spinal Tap out here. And if you haven’t seen the film - for goodness sake, please go rent it.

P.S. The title of this blog was inspired by my friend David. In fact, you should check out his book “Perfect I’m not.” It’s a New York Times Best seller for a reason other than he’s a rad dude and I am very happy to know him.

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