On the Road

You must wonder….. what the hell goes on out there on tour?!

Simply put, it’s a glorified field trip, with pay, without parental supervision.

It’s a brilliant fusion of talent and stupidity with constant access to the inaccessible.

Strip aside the expected response of moving a big rock show by multitude of trucks & buses, from city to city. Forget about the extensive world travel. Who cares about the “celebrity by association” status we all share out here. It’s the people that make the tour tick, which makes touring what it really is. In an environment where a family structure forms overnight. Aspects of our character are soon revealed, some of which our spouses at home probably never see. Relationships that usually take months, even years to cultivate in the real world, happen almost instantly out here. We form the most extremely dysfunctional family, kind of like an instant oatmeal society. A bonding that must take place in order to survive the madness, chaos & mayhem. The environment is intense, the travel is extensive at a warp speed pace and the discovery of your new family is an experience all its own. And with that, you quickly discover the quirks of your new family as you are thrust into living & working together everyday for months at a time.

Let’s talk about;

a singer who brushes his teeth with shots of hot espresso before going on stage.

a body guard who walks around with incense sticks burning to “create his own ambiance.”

a personal assistant who runs the shower in every hotel room from the moment of check in, until check out - because the sound of water is soothing.

a production manager who insists on having his socks dry cleaned.

a production assistant who rearranges the furniture in every hotel room to make it more “Feng Shui.”

a lighting designer who wears an ascot daily & must hang all of his clothes up in the back lounge of the tour bus.

a tour manager who is happy to change his clothes in the production office, in front of anyone - as soon as the laundry returns.

when a coffee order for Starbucks contains the following demand: Grande, dry, beverage weight of point 34 pound, skinny decaf soy latte with one pump of vanilla.

Welcome to your new family……

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