Flash back....

I find myself in New Orleans, at our end of tour party. I’m sad the tour is over, yet, so bloody anxious to sleep in my own bed. Temporarily putting an end to the days of applying mascara in the tour bus, as its flies down the freeway en route to the next gig. And before the last show of the tour, I somehow end up with yet another responsibility, a new skill to add to my resume; midget wrangling…… allow me to elaborate.

Our singer found it most amusing to have some hired help to keep the party rolling well into the night, so enter stage left - Minikiss. Yes, I know its not politically correct but for those of you unaware, Minikiss are simply midgets dressed as Kiss. When I hired them for the party, they were completely unaware of who they were working for. They thought it to be another dull ass corporate party, with an evening full of rednecks making fun of them. Instead, they found themselves performing for a band they all admired. Naturally, I told them who they were working for only an hour before they were due on stage…. then nervousness ensues and they could only find the means of performing by doing shots of Jagermeister followed by a few swigs of Jack.

The performance was like watching a train wreck….you can’t help but watch. Then, after an hour of annihilation on the ear drums, paired with visual bemusement….. my midgets for hire are merry & completed muddled. My only thought at this point; get them back to the hotel, as I’ve done enough babysitting. And with the helping hands of a few lovely crew guys, we manage to extract Minikiss from the bar and facilitate their wobbling down Bourbon Street, into the car of someone who offers us a ride.

So, there I sat, in Lincoln full of little people, who are pissed drunk. Three in back seat, one mini Peter Chris on my lap in the front and god only knows who’s driving us back to the hotel. Once again, I find myself in yet another situation where I marvel at how I got here. Of course, I am laughing all the way, as I am getting paid to partake in such madness…… where’s a camera when you need one!?

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